I had to come to terms with the fact that August was over, that the defroster might be necessary in the morning… put the fan away, find the space heater. Forget about the summer buoyancy and settle in to the cooler climes. The stars looked clearer but somehow didn’t feel as bright. Things felt more solid but maybe I missed floating on the heat and haze… night sweats and cold showers to cool hot skin. I always acted out when changes like this came about, like a petulant child beating my feet against the ground… don’t make me. You can’t make me. Impulsively pulling things closer that weren’t mine to have. Weaving a web of relationships that might come with consequences, but only time will tell. Wearing high heels to work with a toothpick sticking out of my lip like I could give two fucks. Inside knowing it was some kind of act or fight against this… other… taking my summer away, whisking me towards winter.